Excellent post. I first read about some of the issues that are mentioned in this blog post years ago when I read the excellent book “The Emotional Incest Syndrome”written by Patricia Love and she discussed the issue of the “shadow parent”.
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The author of this blog post, Stan Burman, is an entrepreneur and retired litigation paralegal that worked in California and Federal litigation from January 1995 through September 2017 and has created over 300 sample legal documents for sale. He believes in Father’s Rights as he has seen first-hand the incredible bias against fathers in the family law courts in California. He is currently working on creating a digital product that will assist fathers to represent themselves in Court regarding custody and support issues.
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I have been reading Oliver James’s book ‘Not in Your Genes‘ this week and in doing so have found myself uncovering another layer of understanding of what it means to be a child in the post separation landscape. In this book, James speaks of ‘offspring Stockholm syndrome’ which he describes as being the manner in which children are forced to curry favour with the parents they depend upon, simply because of their absolute dependency upon them. Which if one thinks carefully about parent/child relationships, is exactly what children are forced to do in order to survive. In reading this, I am reminded of Alice Miller’s work on children and the way in which she uncovers the terrorism of parenting in her exploration of child maltreatment in her book ‘for your own good.’ This book, more than any other in my long years of reading about children…
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